I am raising and bringing up boys and I love it. My life is full of sports, Lego, cars, fishing, canoeing, bikes and wrestling with these guys and to be honest there hasn’t been a dull moment from day one! As parents we are given the blessing and responsibility of molding our little guys into men that will honor and please the Lord with their lives. Yet many times we might look at those little dirt encrusted, rambunctious, gross stuff humored boys and wonder how in the world will we ever get to the goal!?!
I heard this little story and I think it clearly expresses how many moms feel as they are bringing up boys…
“A man in the grocery store noticed a woman with a three-year-old boy in her cart. As they passed the cookie section, the little boy screamed for cookies. The mother said, “Now Taylor, we only have a few more aisles to go — don’t throw a fit. It won’t be long.” In the candy aisle, the little boy whined for candy. The mother said, “There, there, Taylor, don’t cry. Two more aisles, and we’ll be checking out.” When they got to the checkout stand, the little boy howled for a pack of gum. The mother said, reassuringly, “Taylor, we’ll be done in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a nice nap.”
In the parking lot, the man stopped the woman to complement her. “I couldn’t help noticing how patient you were with little Taylor. That little boy is lucky to have a mom like you!,” he said.
The mother sighed “Oh, no — my little boy’s name is Bobby. I’m Taylor!”
Yes, it can be a challenge when you have a son, but if you will carefully and prayerfully invest in his life training, the rewards are incredible and eternal!
Bringing Up Boys
“Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.” Proverbs 29:17
1. Be aware of the multiple differences between boys and girls and embrace them, don’t try to eliminate them.
While researching the differences between the sexes for this session, I decided to check the Internet. I entered “differences between males and females” on the Google search engine and received over hits for 61,100,000 websites. The websites covered anatomical, psychological, sexual, genetic, and verbal differences and everything imaginable in between! There are so many differences between boys and girls! My husband, having grown up on a farm with animals often refers to our boys as the “little bulls!” God created both sexes— male and female— equal yet different from one another. Differences do not indicate that one sex is superior or inferior to the other. Each sex was created with different strengths and weaknesses so that together we equal a whole greater than the sum of its parts. Let your boy be a boy!!!
2. Discipline your little man with care.
“The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” Proverbs 29:15
- Train, don’t punish.
- When possible allow your husband to help handle the disciplining of boys. It’s good when dads can not only help the boys learn from their mistakes, but they know how a boy thinks and can help them learn to control themselves.
3. Work to develop strength with Christ-like humility.
- This doesn’t mean you “take him down a peg” to force him to feel badly about himself! Never humiliate or criticize him for being a boy. Boys are not gross, stupid or simple. Don’t criticize him to keep him from being prideful.
- Help him have the correct viewpoint of himself. Teach him the blessings of being a man. He will lead and have courage when he is trained it is his honor to do so. Help him see his flaws – gently – and teach him to find solutions to correct them.
4. Focus on developing Biblical character traits, not just his talents.
- Praise obedience and doing right! Abilities are great, but character development is much more important for success in life.
- While encouragement of developing God-given talents is appropriate, be sure to emphasize doing the right things all the time. Help him develop the patterns of right attitudes, compassion, obedience and self-control.
5. Teach him to deal with others in a loving, compassionate way and lead by example.
- Don’t stop showing love as your boys get older. Don’t embarrass them in front of others, but at home, express your love and be affectionate with him.
- Especially teach and expect your boys to be kind to siblings!
- Do all you can to encourage your children to be friends to each other. (Especially brothers!) Don’t allow them to fight and call each other names. They will carry this behavior into the other relationships in their lives.
- Don’t ridicule him for having a tender heart. (Jesus had one and even cried in front of other people. Would you mock Him for it?) Trying to “make him a man” this way will ruin him for life! When he feels deeply about something, let him express those feelings and encourage kindness and compassion in every way.
6. Remember that the end goal is to raise a Godly man, not a child.
- Often we focus on the childhood goals that will not matter once he is an adult (ie – sports, achievements, popularity, etc.) These are temporary. Praise him for character achievement instead and help him make goals that will help him succeed in his life socially, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
- Help him develop spiritual disciplines that will carry him through life. Learning to make wise choices and stand for what is right will help him develop into the kind of man that will be able to lead a family and provide for them. As he learns to follow the Lord in all areas he will gain wisdom that will sustain him through the seasons of life.
7. Infuse the Bible in his training and pray with him and for him!
8. Trust God with his future!
- Teach him to give his life to God.
- Pray for his future wife and ask God to watch over her and to prepare her for marriage.
- You are not the Holy Spirit! Only God can call a man into full-time ministry.
- Encourage your little man to always be a full-time Christian, whole surrendered to the Lord!
- Love and pray for him no matter what!