Caring for the Grieving

Grieving is a difficult part of life.  Today my heart is heavy for a dear family in our church who lost their loved one this morning. They are so incredibly faithful and even though their hearts were aching, they came to a special outreach event at the church to serve yet again just a few hours after his passing. Their loved one had been ill for quite some time and was elderly, but as anyone who has suffered in grief will tell you – death is never timely. I never met their loved one as they lived a few thousand miles away in the Midwest, but I know this family and love them as my own family members, so I weep with them. Even though they know he is in Heaven and that they will see him again, it’s hard today.

A few years ago, both of my parents passed away within 40 days of each other. Then two years ago my brother died suddenly. It feels like their deaths just happened, to be honest with you. It still hurts my heart and as I sit here writing this I find myself crying and missing them. It’s normal and healthy to grieve. When someone we have loved and has loved us passes away, they deserve to be grieved and honored for the wonderful person they were and the influential life they led. As Christians, what should we do to reach out and care for the grieving?

Caring for the Grieving

1. Cry With Them and Just Be There.Allow yourself to be moved by the grief of others. The Bible says in Romans 12:15, “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” We must enter their world and give our sympathy and bear their burden of grief with them.
2. Do Reach Out and Express Your Condolences.Make a call, send a card or flowers, take them dinner, etc. These expressions of concern are very comforting. Sometimes we think maybe they don’t want to be bothered, but from experience I can tell you, it matters and helps to know that someone cares.
3. Be Careful With Your Words.They will tell you what they want you to know. Don’t pry or be nosy about details. Some people need to talk and tell you about the person who has passed away and others don’t want to talk about them very much. Don’t tell them, “I know just how you feel,” because you really don’t. Just listen and remember, a simple, “I’m so sorry for your loss,” goes a long way.
4. Be Available to Help.Perhaps you can help coordinate meals for the family or offer childcare for younger family members during viewing hours at the funeral home or during the service. They may need help with transportation or help with the funeral dinner. Be available and watch for needs to fill to show your love.
5. Pray for Those Who Grieve.Nothing will help more than to pray for those who are grieving. Pray for their comfort, peace and for them to feel God’s presence as never before. Continue to lift them up to the throne of God’s grace.

Losing a loved one to death is one of the most difficult times in any person’s life. While it commonly happens, it’s never common when it happens to you. The Bible teaches us that Jesus felt deeply for those who grieved the loss of a loved one. In John chapter 11 we read the story of Lazarus. The Bible says that he died and was buried four days when Jesus arrived at the home this man shared with his sisters, Mary and Martha. These people were precious friends to Jesus and before the Lord even headed to Bethany, He knew and told His disciples He would raise Lazarus from the dead. Yet, when Mary came out to greet Him and was crying, the Bible tells us that Jesus wept. Now remember, He knew He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead. He wasn’t grieving for Lazarus as those around Him thought. No, the heart of our precious Jesus was touched by Mary’s suffering and crying. Her grief became His grief. May we follow His example.  Let God soften your heart to be Christ-like and care for the grieving around you.

In Loving Memory
Otto Matthew Bierlein
1929 ~ 2016

“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.”  Psalm 116:15