Our past – it makes us who we are – it teaches us about God, life, others and ourselves. It’s true, we learn so very much from what lies behind us on our path. God wants us to learn and gain insightful wisdom from our experiences, then move forward. Yet many times, I see Christians who are stuck in the past. They can’t enjoy and live life fully today because they are bound and held captive by the things that occurred in their yesterdays. They need to learn to stop looking back!
New Year’s Day is almost here. Often this is the time when people stop and evaluate the days they’ve already lived. We should all strive to do better for the Lord in the upcoming year, but we cannot look backwards and go forwards. You can’t do it!
Most Christians have been there before. We get stuck on past sins and failures, disappointments, betrayals, hurts, abuses, etc. God has brought us through so much in life. Each one has his or her own story of how the Lord’s grace has saved and changed us and yet, oftentimes it seems we just can’t let go of what we have done or what someone else has done to us.
While our past makes us who we are and teaches us how to handle the future with God’s grace, if we’re not careful, we can become paralyzed by what has happened and our spiritual growth can be stunted. Instead of running the spiritual race that is before us, we are stopped on the path by looking back. Backwards thinking is so harmful and it leads to bitterness, regret and even depression. Why? Because time travel is impossible! You can’t go back and change the past.
God knows this would be a struggle and He chose the Apostle Paul to pen a letter to the Philippians Christians to warn them not to look back and get stuck in the past. I think the fact that Paul was chosen to do this is very interesting considering his past. Prior to his salvation he was an evil person even though he appeared to be very religious outwardly. The Bible says in Acts 8 that he made “havoc” of the church. Can you imagine how he felt once he was saved and publicly preaching and had to face the believers whose parents he had killed? Talk about dealing with a hard past!
Yet, in Philippians 3:13-14 it says, “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”
It’s interesting that this formerly self-righteous person after salvation viewed himself as not having arrived spiritually, but rather he had to choose to put the past behind him and go forward.
How do you and I deal with our pasts and move on? Here are a few steps to take to help stop living in the past.
How to Stop Looking Back
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Realize & Accept That Life Isn’t Fair.
There you have it – it’s just not fair. Once we acknowledge this fact, we can move on and stop looking for fairness and compensation for the past. Have you come to terms with the fact that this old life just isn’t fair and that is just what will make Heaven all the more sweeter?
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Understand That Our Suffering Doesn’t Please God, but When I Respond Properly in the Midst of My Pain, it Does Please & Glorify Him!
Many people misunderstand the heart of God about our hurts. They think that He purposely does things to them to punish or be cruel. He’s our Father and He’s not abusive! However, when bad things in life do happen to us, God longs to help us deal with the hurt and move on. Have you taken the pain of your past to the Lord and asked Him to help you respond properly and give Him the glory for His redemptive power?
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Stop Expecting Other People to Understand and Realize that God Truly Understands and Cares About You.
People are awesome! I love people and for many years I wanted someone to understand my heart and my hurts. Yes, someone to show sympathy, but also to “get” me. God has sent many wonderful humans into my life, the greatest of which is my husband. Yet, even this man who I have been married to for almost 25 years and love more than any other human, doesn’t completely understand my past and experiences fully. Why? He wasn’t there for all of them. But God was! He’s been there since my first breath! He “gets” me, knows me and loves me completely even with my brokenness and past experiences. I am loved and accepted in the beloved because of the blood of Christ. He cares about me and He cares about you! Have you come to realize that only your precious Lord understands, accepts and loves you just as you are?
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Refuse to Get Stuck in Your Past.
The past can bring all kinds of hurtful memories and regretful situations. When we allow ourselves to dwell on them we get stopped on our spiritual journey. We live trying to walk backwards and end up stumbling over “if only” thoughts and discouragement. This type of thinking makes us not only pause, but make us want to quit altogether. Refuse to think on the past. You must decide to forget. I think it’s interesting to note that the Apostle Paul said that the one thing he did was, “forgetting.” He didn’t say, “forgot.” This word was written in the present tense. Paul was choosing to continually forget.We alone chose what we think about. The truth is we can only think one thought at a time. Don’t allow the pain of your past to run wide open in the thought channel of your mind. I’ve heard this quote attributed to Martin Luther, “You might not be able to stop the birds from landing on your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.” This quote makes me smile, but there is great truth in it. When a negative, painful reminder pops into your mind, drive it out and don’t allow it to preoccupy your thoughts. Replace it with a positive, God-honoring thought or a Bible verse.
You must refuse to get stuck in the past. Put your past with its hurts and painful memories into God’s almighty hands and ask Him to remove the tormenting thoughts of what has happened to you. Are you carrying the burden of your past and the painful memories with you every day?
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Decide to Grow Past the Pain.
When you refuse to forget the past and go forward, this doesn’t mean that you leave behind your testimony and the treasures of God’s grace upon your life. What you have dealt with others will deal with in the future. God wants to redeem your pain and hurts and use you to reach out and minister to others from a point of grace as a fellow sufferer. The lessons you learned and the spiritual growth you achieve through it all can then be passed on to another growing Christian. Don’t hide what God has brought you through! Now, I’m not telling you to air your dirty laundry for all to see, but rather to be willing to come alongside another hurting one and be there in support and testimony. Are you willing to grow and learn of God’s comfort that you might be able to help others?
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Keep Your Eyes on Jesus & Give Your Past to Him.
The Apostle Paul often spoke of committing people and situations to God. He told Timothy that he had committed his suffering to God and trusted Him to take care of the details of his life. In I Peter 4:19 it says, “Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.” Now this doesn’t mean that everything that has happened in your life was the will of God, but rather when we give our lives to the Heavenly Father, He then takes the suffering and hurt we experience and as Romans 8:28 teaches, He uses it for good even though Satan wanted it to destroy us. Are you focusing on the Lord? Have you given Him everything in your life, including your past, allowing it to be used for His will?
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Look to the Future By Faith
The rest of your life is unwritten. While we don’t know what will happen later today, let alone the rest of our lives, we do know that God hold the future. He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” The Lord is planning your happy ending. We know that the final happy ending will happen when we arrive home in Heaven, but until that time, God is thinking of every detail of your story and working it all out for good. Trust Him. Fear of the future will keep you from taking the next step in your life. Fear keeps you looking back. Turn around. Refuse to live your life in reverse!
Friends, God doesn’t want you sidetracked by the past. Forget it – it’s over and gone – don’t let the residual pain ruin you and render you unusable for the Kingdom’s work yet to be done while you’re on this earth! God loves you and longs to bear your hurts for you and redeem you past for His glory and your eternal good. Decide today to quit living in the past and stop looking back!
Remember – don’t look back – you’re not going that way!
All very true. Thank you for your insight and wisdom.